[Glorantha] First Digestive Symposium (more beards)

The Beard List
The Beard List was compiled by Ordanestyu in order to inspire beard growth and to associate beard length and fullness with truth and justice. It was only revealed by the Buseri only after the enthronement of Erzanestyu when he was recreating ancient fashions and not wearing any pants. It includes those "Emperors whose beards brought peace and righteousness to the rich land who did not wear pants" but also mentions others, less bearded, whose shabby chin growths can be explained by some of their weaknesses and injustices.

Murharzarm the Best Beard, most perfect. He established the growth of hair on the face and the oiling of frizzy tufts to form cohesive and fine smelling face furniture.
Khorventos had his beard pulled by his cousins, and yelped in despair. With his beard in disarray the world was destroyed. Anaxial the Sailor was not Murharzarm and did not favour a moustache. He claimed it helped avoid making a mess when he ate spinach, and favoured olive oil to smooth his hairs.
Urvairinus was the inventor of heated hair tongs and sported an immense bouffant hairdo in addition to a tremendous curled war-beard. Modern soldiers invoke his hairstyle only with powerful battlemagics and deadly war-wigs. Manarlavus had the longest beard, rimed with ice at its ends. It was not full and thick but peaceful and wispy.
Vanyoramet - He went past perfection, he went up to eleven, and so was better than he should have been. No one even looked at his beard, or was allowed to touch it. The epic and tragic tale of his imperial rule "Lick My Love Pump" is one of the stories recorded in the one of the Black Scrolls Kazkurtum - the aftershave Emperor. He claimed to be "the best a man can get", and tainted the world forever with his twin blades. Jenarong - was always shown with a full curly beard, although many of his dynasty had goatees or just waxed moutaches. Viramakradda - aka Dispenser of Hairoil, aka Dispenser of Something for the Weekend? Wore a misguided "merciless" style, in foolish imitation of the horse nomads. He may even have worn pants, but he knew no better. Eusibus - famously tucked his beard into his Girdle of Shargash. Considered uncouth for plaiting his beard into two braids, and sporting a mullet after the fashion of his fierce god.
Khordavu - He began his facial hair at the age of eleven, when he was initiated into Davu, and never once shaved his bumfluff. He battled the barber army from the south, and the goattee men from the east. He poured scorn on sideburns and utterly destroyed the little toothbrush-style of certain tyrants. His follicles were never wrong.
Anirmesha made sure that Priests had beards to match their piety. Some priests of Dayzatar combusted when their sacred bush immolated. Blessed are they! Wanthanelm - cursed by his flabby cheeks and bare pimply chin. Never should such a clean faced man be Emperor.
Anirdavu - although called the Humble he had little to be humble about in the beard department. It was long and thick. His wife complained it was too bushy and she shamed him with a goatee wearing man who was later turned into a bearded owl.
Erraibdavu proved his wisdom by the length of his mighty black beard. But he favoured the martial style of Urvairinus, overused the curling tongs, and so his head hair departed south. Bald, but bearded, he was cruel and without justice.
Mahzahnelm wore a beard in the style of Anaxial, that is to say, without hair on the upper lip. Also, he kept his beard trimmed short, only the length of his thumb, which embarrassed the ladies. Khorzanelm the Magnificent had a complete Murharzarm-beard.Oiled, thick, regimented curls falling down his chest. Never had the world beheld such a wonder since Time and the Sun stopped in the sky to witness it. Received on Mon 17 Apr 2006 - 12:12:27 EEST