Sun County Baboon Corps

From: Clay Luther (clay@gojira.monsta.com)
Date: Tue 09 May 1995 - 05:50:15 EEST



I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it myself. I was taking a case of Carmanian wine to the Count, courtesy of the Governor. Anniversary or something like that. No, I didn't ask. Yes, a whole case.

Anyway, like I said, I arrive at Sun Dome with this wine in tow for the Count. Like always, they kept me waiting. Then, this hairless baboon wearing one of those gilt breastplates and carrying a spear comes up to me and asks me, I mean he talks to me and says, "Come this way, please.". Asks me, he did, to come in to present the Governor's gift to the Count. I followed the little feller into the audience room. He wobbled as he tried to walk on his hind legs like a man. Did pretty well, too.

Anyway, I presented the wine to the Count, who said nothing, of course. His majordomo gave me a sealed letter to return to the Governor. When I left, I mentioned the baboon to one of my escorts. I wasn't hoping for a reply, but he surprised me with one.

He said that about two years ago, this Arroyan lady did some big favor for the Count - found some artifact or something some old Count had lost a long time ago. The Count was so happy to have it back that he granted the Arroyan lady a boon.

Now, it seems this Arroyan had met a baboon feller in Harpoon. The locals were treating the little feller pretty badly. Seems he wanted to join the church, but the local acolyte wouldn't hear of it and refused to even let the monkey into the temple atrium. Anyway, this Arroyan somehow tricked the acolyte into debating the baboon feller. And the baboon made a monkey out of the acolyte!

So here she is a Sun Temple, and the Count gives this lady a boon. She asks for nothing for herself. Instead, she requests that this baboon be given a chance to join the church and prove himself. The Count, who stupidly granted the boon before hearing what it was, tried to say no on religious grounds. But this Arroyan lady knew her stuff, it seems, and she quoted the Yelmalio scriptures and proved that there weren't no restrictions against inducting a monkey. Well, true to his word, the fat old Count granted the boon and assigned the baboon to Lady Goldbreath.

Now, it seems this baboon did real well by her and proved his usefulness as a scout and tracker. He was able to show the Yelmalions how to find secret water holes in the desert that only the nomads knew about, allowing them to chase down a pack of bison riders that had been harassing their borders for years. Soon, Lady Goldbreath recruited a couple of more baboons as scouts and spies and before you know it, he said, they got a whole file of baboons working for them, all devout Yelmalions to the last one.

Who's the Arroyan lady? I don't know, but I think the Governor knows her. Seems she spends most of her time out at Horn Gate or floating up and down the river. She's supposed to have a berserk lover, too, so they say. Anyway, I heard she's persona non grata in Sun County now after tricking the Count the way she did. She must be a Riddler or something, I say, to be able to twist Ironpike around like that. I certainly wouldn't want to meet her. She'd probably make hire a baboon, too.

Gives a whole new meaning to monkey's uncle, don't it.

Anyway, pass the squirrels.

End of Glorantha Digest V1 #270


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