From: Bernuetz, Oliver: WPG (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Date: Fri 10 May 1996 - 16:49:56 EEST
The story continues...
On our way through the Rubble we met up with this party of Zorak Zorani
trolls. Stinkin' little trollkin with them screams, "That's them, those
murderers there!" In Tradetalk no less. Crazy bastards accused us of
having something we didn't. "Where are they", this big pisser in lead
armour screams at us. We can't think of what the hell he's talking about
since we've never stolen nuthin' from Zorak Zorani trolls before. (Now
Kyger Litor trolls, that's a different story. In fact this bunch had that
two-timing trollkin whose kin we'd slaughtered in Darkness Season with them.
We should of killed him then when we had the chance. Remember kids the
only good troll is a dead troll).
Anyway, we told the trolls we didn't know what the hell it is they
thought we had so they could just piss off. Fortunately it was daylight and
with the Storm Bulls we had *em outnumbered two to one. I'll bet the iron
axes the Kahn and the Axe Maiden were carrying didn't hurt either. So they
left leaving us wondering what the hell it was they thought we had and
making us realize that we'd probably find out soon enough and we'd probably
wouldn't like it when we did. We spotted trollkin shadowing us the whole
time we were in the Rubble that day. But we kept to the business at hand
and kept on heading to the ogre's fort.
We got close to the compound and they decided that I'd sneak up on the
other side of the compound and toss the cats over the wall distracting the
dogs so the rest could go over the other wall. Sure enough with the help of
silence magic I managed to sneak up to the base of the wall. The wind was
in my favour so I didn't have to worry about the dogs. Then I thought to
myself, "How the hell am I going to chuck a cat up over a ten foot wall?"
Well I tried to heave the first cat up and over and missed. Bloody cat
scratched the hell out of my face when it fell back against me. I did
manage to heave the second cat up to the top of the wall but the damn thing
just clung there. Fortunately that was enough to distract the dogs and
bring them running to this side of the fort.
I missed most of the fight but what follows is what I was told about
later. They said their prayers and called up their spirit magic and then
went the wall. Well, most of them went over the wall in the first wave just
by clambering over (except for that damn, prissy Bison rider who threw a
knotted rope up to catch between two of the stakes. Well, la de da). Soon
as they dropped down the dogs spotted them and raced over barking their fool
heads off. Well the Kahn lets a javelin loose and drops the first mutt.
One of the ogres sticks his head out and says,
"What's with you damn dogs." When he spotted us he ducked back inside
yelling for help. The wave of dogs swept forward and hit the Storm Bulls.
Poor mutts didn't last too long. Stikklebrix tried to head around back and
enter the rear door. Showing his usual luck he found the first of the pits
that Ratbane had mentioned. Did I forget to mention the pits? Well there
were some. Bugger fell straight down and landed on a stake. Hallelujah the
Axe Maiden went to help him but he decided to climb up the other side and go
in the back door. Greystone, Hallelujah and Svart the Humakti decided to
climb up the wall of the house and drop down on the other side.
Meanwhile the dogs had all been chopped up except the last one that
buggered off with its tale between its legs. One of the Bullers ran up to
the front door and been hit with a couple of crossbow quarrels. He went
down and then the Kahn went through followed by most of his flunkeys. He
attacked the ogre in armour with another Buller while another one and the
Yemalio went to enter the backroom. Durnfal was the first to the door and
saw Harnval just as he drove this dagger into the breast of the young female
ogre. Bastard was just finishing up some kind of spell. Then all hell
There was this huge cracking sound and this enormous scaly arm ripped
up through the floor. This big fucker of a monster with wings and a long
whip like tail crawled out of the hole it'd made in the floor and stood up.
This was bad news for the people on the roof because the monster was over 4
metres tall! The whole damn roof caved in and everybody was dumped into the
room. Svart ended up next to Durnfal and Hallelujah ended up on top of
Harnval. The old ogre female had her skull cracked and one of the old
ogre's sons buggered off through the far door.
This critter had everybody's attention but that only lasted for a few
seconds. With one swipe the monster tore one of the Bullers in half!
Meanwhile the Kahn chopped an arm off of the ogre he was fighting and
decided to leave him to Gerhardt and one of the Bulls. He wanted to get at
the thing but there were too many of his followers in the way for him to get
free. The creature was attacking Durnfal, Greystone and Svart at the same
time! The worst thing was he had this long dick with poisoned teeth!
--Well he did. Do you want to hear this story or not?
Where was I? Oh yeah, the monster was fighting three of us and only
their skills and heavy armour was keeping them alive. They were slowly
chopping the creature apart. Meanwhile Stikklebrix had poked his sword in
through the room's window and had pinked one of the ogres. Well that ogre
turned and ran for it (did I say he'd buggered off earlier? Well he
hadn't). Hallelujah was standing on top of the ogre priest and tried to
kill the bastard with her pole axe. She had to shorten up her grip a bit
and the scum managed to spit acid on her destroying her abdomen armour and
chewing a big hole in her gut. She was still standing and even though the
prick parried her next blow he didn't parry her last blow.
--Grandpa where were you when all this was happening?
--Err, well I'm a llama rider not a mountain goat so it took me a while to
get up and over the wall. When I did manage to get over the wall I got
closer and hit the monster with a javelin. Then I went in through the back
door and found Ratbane cowering under a cot. I took him out *round back and
went to go through the front door.
Well the Yemalio got knocked down. His armour and his spear saved his
life and this gave the Kahn a chance to step in. Finally after less than a
minute the big monster was dead. I think the Kahn dealt the death blow. We
ransacked the place finding piss all in the way of loot and let the Bullers
take any thing we found to keep them happy. When they realized that we'd
attacked this place to rescue a dog they weren't none happy. Fuckin' Kahn
was upset that he hardly got to kill anything-don't get me wrong, he was
pleased that we'd offed what ogres we did (though the ceiling falling in
almost killed as many as we did, not to mention their butchering each other)
he just hated losing a man and not killing much. (Turns out the tight
bastard was mostly upset about having to pay to get his boy raised.
Gerhardt made things between him and the Kahn nice somewhat by offering to
pay for the healers). Still, all in all the Bulls weren't too happy about
that mission. We ended up sending a few kegs of beer to their temple to
make *em happier.
--But grandpa what about the dog?
--Oh yeah, the dog well that's another story kids. Now piss off and let an
old man get some rest.
Oliver D. Bernuetz
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