GM Hall of Shame - which one are you?
Hi all,
I recently received this Hall of Shame from a friend. It looks like it's been
around sometime, but I hope its original here,
enjoy
Graeme
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|!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RACK & RUNE SURPRISE BONUS PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
| |
| THE GAMEMASTER'S HALL OF SHAME: MONTY HAUL'S TOP TEN COUSINS |
| |
|10) Minnie Haul (Also known as That Cheap Bastard) |
| Quote: "Okay. After twenty-seven sessions you have finally |
| slain the Three Giant Dragons of Chaos. In the treasure vault you |
| find--12 copper pieces and a rusty fork. Who gets the fork?" |
| Good Points: You'll never be over-encumbered. |
| Bad Points: Majority of characters killed by starvation, plus |
| risk of lockjaw from rusty fork. |
| |
| 9) Mr. Softee (Also known as Pathetic Guy & The Amazing Mushman) |
| Quote: "You're down 3 hit points? Uh...suddenly the troll falls|
| over and spontaneously combusts! Magically, the smoke heals you." |
| Good Points: Characters never die. Ever. No matter what. |
| Bad Points: Who cares? |
| |
| 8) Anger Man (Also known as The Master & It Wasn't Me) |
| Quote: "What? You don't like the King? Your limbs fall off." |
| Good Points: Order and discipline. |
| Bad Points: Discipline und Order. |
| |
| 7) Das KillMeister (Also known as Dr. Death & Why Do I Keep Playing?) |
| Quote: "Better roll up six characters each. That should last |
| the first session. Maybe. [chortle]." |
| Good Points: The thrill of danger, |
| Bad Points: The boredom of constant defeat. |
| |
| 6) The Sexist Pig (Also known as The Sleazeball & L'il Friskies) |
| Quote: "They rape you and you love it, like all women. Ha ha |
| ha! Now you're pregnant!" |
| Good Points: Not boring. |
| Bad Points: Extremely irritating. Will emotionally scar any |
| player under the age of sixteen. Knows no shame. |
| |
| 5) Das PunMeister (Also known as Stop & Please, I Beg of You, Kill Him)|
| Quote: "A killer Treant? Woodn't you know. I'd leaf him alone.|
| Bet his bark is worse than his bite!" |
| Good Points: A wacky, funny, laugh-a-minute guy. |
| Bad Points: Will not stop. |
| |
| 4) Monotone Man (Also known as ZZZZzzzzzzzz....) |
| Quote: "Hi. I'm the King." " Hi. I'm the peasant." " Hi. I'm |
| the wizard." " Hi. I'm the knight." " Hi. I'm the Dragon." |
| Good Points: Will never cancel due to laryngitis. |
| Bad Points: Save vs. Paralyzation or Die. |
| |
| 3) The Drunk (Also known as What's That Smell? & Not Again!) |
| Quote: "H'lo. BLEUUEUERGGHH!!! G'bye..." |
| Good Points: Vivid descriptions of strange, bizarre creatures. |
| Bad Points: Rarely coherent. Will probably die soon. |
| |
| 2) The Insane Plotter (Also known as Machiavelli & Mr. Myxylplyxx) |
| Quote: "But the twelfth arbitrary conundrum signifies nascent |
| ursinoids rising. Any idiot can see that!" |
| Good Points: Dazzling, intricate plots, sub-plots, and sub-sub-|
| plots. |
| Bad Points: Makes you feel really stupid. |
| |
| 1) The Die-Hard (Also known as Old Faithful and Gary Gygax, Jr.) |
| Quote: "There is nothing wrong with AD&D(TM). Nothing. Nothing!"|
| Good Points: Intense commitment to fantasy gaming, plus owns |
| everything ever published by TSR(TM). |
| Bad Points: Cranky. May strike dissenters about the head and |
| shoulders with The Compleat Unearthed Adventurers Wilderness Arcana |
| Survival Handbook Guide (2nd ed.)(TM). |
| |
| * * * |
| QUIZ |
| Question #1: Which of the above have YOU been? |
| Question #2: Which of the above have I been? |
| Question #3: So what? |
| |
| Send quiz answers to your parents. All entries will receive a |
|"Why do you play those silly games?" lecture, free of charge. |
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(c) Copyright 1991, 1992 Peter Maranci. This version is freely
redistributable as long as this copyright message is included.
Commercial rights for derivative works are retained by the author.
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: Fri 10 Oct 2003 - 01:32:32 EEST